Kicking Away

When I was pregnant with Charis, she was almost constantly kicking and squirming around -- so much so that on the morning of her birth, it was clear to me that something was awry since she hadn't moved for more than two hours. Though I didn't film this very well, she proves in this video that she is definitely the same wiggly baby that squirmed inside of me for 8 months!

Happy Anniversary to us!

This weekend, Zach surprised me with a late overnight anniversary trip since our 1 year anniversary (August 1) was spent recovering from a C-Section with our 18 day old preemie. He had told me nothing about the trip other than that we would be spending a night away somewhere and that I should bring warm clothes for Charis and me.

After we got in the car, Zach finally told me where we were going: Parkdale, Oregon. My guess is that no one reading this blog has ever heard of Parkdale, Oregon, considering it is a rural town of about 200 people, but Zach and I had actually been to this very place previously. Two years ago, we were driving around that area of the state looking desperately for somewhere to eat, and we came upon a quaint little bed and breakfast: The Old Parkdale Inn. We stopped there to ask for directions, and we were graciously directed across the street to a tiny little pub (the only restaurant in Parkdale, I'm asssuming). Since that night, we have talked and joked about returning to Parkdale, and we have particularly discussed going back to that bed and breakfast. You can only imagine my excitement, then, when Zach told me that we had reservations at the Old Parkdale Inn for that evening.

We stopped for lunch in Eugene (at Chipotle, of course) and then headed east on Historic Highway 30 toward Hood River. Along the way, we stopped at a few waterfalls (Multnomah falls was definitely a favorite) and ate dinner in Hood River. From there it was about a 20 minute drive south into Parkdale, and around that time it began to snow. Hard. We crawled toward Parkdale in the blizzard conditions, and when we finally arrived, the quaint little town was already a winter wonderland.

After drying our shoes by the fire, we went up to our room and had a wonderful evening being spoiled by the wonderful accommodations and our very well-behaved baby. It really could not have been more perfect, and the fact that we were in Parkdale made it even more special. In the morning, we had a wonderful breakfast and took Charis on a snowy walk (much to her amazement!). We then headed back for a quick lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings (Zach's favorite) in Portland, and returned to Roseburg this evening. What a wonderful trip it was!


I can't believe we're at the Old Parkdale Inn!


The bed and breakfast from the outside


Charis was quite excited to be there, too :)


Zach and Charis in front of Mt. Hood (this is in the front yard of the Old Parkdale Inn)


This is Charis' reaction to the snow and 15 degree weather.


At beautiful Multnomah Falls


And. . . Charis' reaction to Multnomah Falls :)




Getting some loving from Mom and Dad at lunchtime.

To my love: thank you for an incredible trip! It was charmed and perfect. I love you!

God Our Father

Since Charis has been born, the Scriptures have come alive in new ways to me through the "lens" of motherhood. A few reflections:

1. Hosea 11 has been a meaningful passage to me since my last year of college (my roommate and I had it hanging prominently on our wall), but now I read it in a new light. Speaking about his children of Israel (who had been caught in cycles of apostasy and unfaithfulness for decades), God says,

"When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son. But the more I called Israel, the further they went from me. . . It was I who taught Ephraim to walk, taking them by the arms; but they did not realize it was I who healed them. I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love; I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them. . . Yet how can I give you up, Ephraim? How can I hand you over, Israel?" (Hosea 11:1-4, 8a).

First of all, the imagery here paints Yahweh as such a tender, compassionate father; imagine the God of the universe bending down to hand-feed his children with manna, or taking them gently by the hands to teach them to walk! Yes, our Father is a God of power, of justice, of omnipresence, of strength -- and yet he is simultaneously a God of love, of compassion, of mercy, and of grace. He was and is our "Abba" Father. And no matter how frustrating his children become with their constant sin and disobedience, his "compassion is aroused" (v. 8), and he consistently responds in love and forgiveness.

Now, obviously Charis has not yet exhibited any sort of sin or disobedience, but I think I understand more now how such "unconditional" parental love is possible. I love her so much that I can see how forgiveness and grace will (hopefully) flow so easily once she is old enough to merit it. That is not to say that God is not a father of justice or discipline (just as I won't be a mother who does not correct); yet I pray that I can respond to Charis with the same roused compassion and unfailing love that God has for us.

2. Next, every story that I now read in the Bible that pertains to the sacrifice or loss of a child speaks to me in a completely different way than it did before Charis' birth. I can begin to understand the agony that Abraham felt laying Isaac on the altar on Mount Moriah; I can empathize with the father of the prodigal son who waited on the hilltop watching each night for his son to come home; I can hear David's heart when he mourns, "O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you -- O Absalom, my son, my son!"(2 Samuel 18:33). I obviously have not been in their shoes or situations, but I can now understand the incredible love that they had for their children.

A character that particularly amazes me is Hannah, who prays diligently for a child so that she can give him back to the Lord. She has been mocked by Peninnah (who already has a houseful of children) and has pled with God to the point of weeping when God finally "remembers" her and allows Samuel to be conceived. What impresses me most about Hannah is that she is completely true to her word and gives Samuel back to the Lord as soon as he is weaned. Although she is so grateful for God's gift of Samuel ("My heart rejoices in the Lord; in the Lord my horn is lifted high. My mouth boasts over my enemies, for I delight in your deliverance..." [1 Samuel 2:1]), I cannot imagine that she also didn't feel some sadness about the fact that she wouldn't be able to watch her little boy grow up daily. She wouldn't be there to bandage the knees, to rock him to sleep, to find out his favorite foods and activities and pastimes -- and yet she sacrificed those maternal blessings in order to be faithful to God (since He had been faithful to her!). What an example!

3. Ultimately, I can testify that "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created" (James 1:17-18). Not only do I recognize that the gift of Charis' life is a "perfect" gift from above, but I also am amazed that God has chosen to adopt US as his own children. Oh, how he loves us!

And now, some recent pictures of our tiny, perfect gift: :)